I remember deciding that I was going to take this self-love thing seriously. I’d spoken to friends who raved about its benefits, I’d seen the term batted around enough, and I figured I’d give it a go.
But there was one problem: I didn’t really know where to begin.
Was I supposed to just sit down one morning, gaze into a mirror, and tell my reflection how much I loved myself? Or was I supposed to open every conversation from here on in with the sentence, “Hello, I’m Nick and I love with myself”?
Safe to say, I did neither of these things. Although the mirror one actually isn’t a bad idea…
If, like me, you want to embark on your own self-love journey (wanky word, sorry), then here are a few simple ways to get started. You know, just to avoid embarrassing conversation openers like telling people you’re in love with yourself.
Start Being Kinder To Yourself
The other morning, in the short space of time it took me to brush my teeth, I had all of these thoughts about myself as I caught a glimpse of my face in the bathroom cabinet: Jesus I’m starting to look old around the eyes; I wish I could grow more facial hair; I look so pale; my hair looks ridiculous; I really need to lose that little bit of fat over my tummy; I wish my nose was a little bit smaller; I think I have a lazy eye.
I’m literally smiling out of discomfort as I write those things about myself. But really, it’s no laughing matter.
One easy way to start self-love is to begin being kinder to yourself. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you probably wouldn’t think those things about other people, so why do we think it’s ok to think them about ourselves?
No more, I say! Cut yourself some slack, compliment yourself, make note of all the things you do like about yourself. Whatever! Just start being nicer to yourself.
Remember The Nice Things People Say To You
And on that note, another easy way to start self-loving is to keep track of all the nice things people say to you. To you, about you, all of them!
I’m pretty sure it’s kind of human tendency to cling onto the negatives instead of the positives. Maybe it’s a survival thing, you know? I bet you can remember when many a time where someone said something pretty hurtful towards you, but can you remember the times where people actually side some nice things?
Try jotting them down. It doesn’t need to be in a journal or anything like that, your phone will do. But if you keep track of all the nice things people say about you, when you’re having a down day scrolling through that list will make you feel a whole lot better.
And hopefully, it might make you start believing it.
Set Yourself Small Goals That You Can Get Done
What do you want to get done in the next half an hour? Or today? Or even this week?
If you break your big goals down into achievable mini-goals, and then you start ticking these off, then your confidence in your own abilities starts sky-rocketing.
This was something I struggled with. I often used to feel like I’d let myself down because I hadn’t achieved these ambitious goals I’d set for myself. But once I started breaking them down, and actually doing a lot of these mini goals, I began to feel a whole lot better about myself.
Schedule In Me-Time
I personally think this is one of the hardest ways to start self-loving, but equally one of the most important.
My experiences is that I felt quite selfish literally scheduling in time to do the things I like to do. And on top of that, I felt pretty confused about what it actually is that I enjoy!
For some people it’s a yoga class, others its cooking, or a trip to the cinema, or just a good old glass of wine. Whatever it is that makes you feel like you again, start making the time for it. No matter how busy we are, if we don’t give ourselves the time to recuperate, then we’ll just burn ourselves out!
Hang Out With People Who Make You Feel Good
Finally, I’ve found that being selective about the people I spend my time with has a huge impact on my self-esteem.
I’ve been in situations where I felt like the odd one out, like I was trying to be someone I’m not, or where I’ve down right just felt uncomfortable. But I’ve started to identify what those situations are so that I can try and avoid them as much as I can.
I’m all for pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, but if certain people are making you feel like shit, then don’t bother. Identify the people that make you feel inspired, loved, or plain old happy.
Those are the people that love you, and that’ll help you to love you too.